Keeping In Touch With The Folks Back Home
Can you imagine how isolated expats of yore must have felt, back when the only way to communicate with people back home was to send letters via mail steamer?
Thank goodness for email, cheap international calls and webcams! Without them, it would be a lot more time-consuming (not to mention expensive) to regularly check on your elderly parents, or to catch up with your best friend from high school.
As anyone who’s ever lived abroad can attest, the ability to keep in touch with your near and dear ones as often as you like is a huge asset in your expat life.
A quick email or phone call can help you:
- Ease homesickness
Sometimes, all you need to beat the expat blues is spend 20 minutes on the phone having a good laugh with your big sister – the one person who really gets your quirky sense of humour!
And if you need to vent your pent-up frustrations about your host country, better to do it privately in an email to your best friend back home than to go on a public rant at the next expat get-together…
- Maintain a sense of stability and continuity
Keeping current on what’s going on back home will help you retain a continuity between life before and after the move. Every call home is an opportunity to catch up not only with your loved ones, but also on recent events in your home country.
If it weren’t for my Sunday phone calls with my mom, I would have no idea what’s going on in French politics (not sure I want to know, actually!), or which distant relative of ours is having a baby. Mom, if you read this – thanks for being my personal newswire!
- Keep your networks alive
As an expat, you have a chance to build and maintain wider, more diverse networks than most people.
Even if you have a multitude of great local contacts, don’t forget those who have helped and supported you in the past. Former co-workers, classmates, or club members – not to mention all the fellow expats you’ve met on your travels – would probably love to hear from you every now and then.
Smart networking is all about long-term relationships, not short-term gain, so don’t fall into the “out of sight, out of mind” trap!
- Make your eventual repatriation easier
Are you planning to return to your home country at some point, even if it’s several years from now? Then start nurturing these relationships with people back home!
No matter how prepared you think you are, the “reverse culture shock” that awaits returning expats is anything but fun – so you’ll need all the support you can get.
However…
… while long-distance communication is clearly an expat’s best friend, there are a few downsides to keep in mind:
- Keeping strong ties with your home country is great, but you still need to put yourself out there, explore your new environment and make new friends. Don’t use “staying in touch” as a strategy to cling to the past and avoid the realities of life in a new country.
- Is there anything teenagers like better than chatting with their friends and being glued to their computers? If your children spend all their free time online, they’re not getting the real-life experiences they need in order to learn, grow and adjust to their new country. I don’t care how old-fashioned it sounds, “Get outside and get some fresh air!” still applies.
- Pick a time to phone friends and family when you are feeling relatively calm and centred. If you call when you’re down, they’ll worry excessively – or think you’re being whiny! Call when you’re really excited about your new life, and some of them will think you’re bragging.
If you’re feeling emotional, opt for email instead – that way you can re-read what you’ve written, and tone it down a bit if necessary.
- Remember that not everyone back home will be as supportive as you’d like them to be. Maybe your parents weren’t thrilled to see you move away in the first place, or maybe your brother thinks that you’re on a permanent holiday and have no right to complain whatsoever.
Try to put yourself in their shoes and, unless they’ve lived abroad themselves, don’t expect everybody to understand the challenges you are facing as an expat.
Do you have long-distance-communication tips to share? What’s your favourite way to stay in touch with people back home? Don’t hesitate to leave a comment, or drop me a line via my blog if you’d like to connect!
Emmanuelle Archer is a French expat currently living in Canada. You can also find Emmanuelle on her blog, Winning Away Expat Tips & Resources, where she shares ideas to help you thrive in your life abroad – no matter where in the world you happen to live.
