Language confusion in Switzerland is nothing new

By Chantal Panozzo

Language can be a tricky thing in a country like Switzerland. After all, the tiny country with a population of 7 million has four official languages and many more unofficial dialects. In case you find it confusing, here’s a little guide to help you understand what region you’re in:

Here’s how you know you’re in the German-speaking region:

-People from Germany are as confused as you.

-They write in one language and talk in another.

-There is a lot of fog.

-People don’t understand the people from the next town over because the dialects are that different. But this is on purpose. Secrecy is big in Switzerland—not just in banks.

-How you say “hello” is analyzed to determine what town you’re from.

-If you are not on time you are not worthy.

-Everyone’s eating either wurst or wurst.

Here’s how you know you’re in the French-speaking region:

-The written language is exactly like the spoken one.

-The French-speaking Swiss don’t understand Swiss German and this frustrates them. The Swiss Germans like it this way.

-Everyone speaks French or French.

-Almost every town is on a lake.

-The French Swiss make the watches. The German Swiss obey them.

Here’s how you know you’re in the Italian-speaking region:

-People talk with their hands.

-The buildings are colors like pink, yellow, and orange.

-People eat pizza or pizza.

-Many speak German as a second language. The German that the actual Germans can understand.

-You can actually see the sun.

Here’s how you know you’re in the Romansh-speaking region:

-You think you hear Italian. You think you hear German. You think you hear Latin. But you don’t understand anything.

-There are no young people around.

-You are in the Alps.

-There are a lot of cows.

-Everyone speaks at least one other language.

How about you? How do you determine what section of Switzerland you’re in?

Chantal Panozzo is a writer in Switzerland who has written for a variety of publications on two continents. She’s the author of One Big Yodel, a blog about life in Switzerland and moving abroad, and also discusses living abroad as a freelancer at Writer Abroad.

Tags: expat in switzerland, french, german, italian, language, living in switzerland, Switzerland

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