Yes, yes, I know.  I live in Paradise, the land of the best pasta, coffee, wine, ice cream, etc. in the world, so why would I ever crave any other food?

Well, as much as I love the variety here, sometimes I miss things that I would eat at home in the States.  When I was living in Argentina, a good friend of mine, Joli, found a great recipe for flour tortillas.  Since there isn’t much variety in the food down there, it was a delight to be a guest in her house and be able to eat things such as fajitas or tacos. Things you just don’t find in Buenos Aires, and things you certainly don’t find in Lecce, Italy.

This week I am visiting a friend in Bari, which is just a couple hours north of Lecce, and I decided I wanted to prepare a meal as a sign of gratitude.  Well, we all know how Italians are when it comes to tasting other people’s cooking.  I’m always afraid to make traditional dishes here because on top of the “buono, buono!” I have to listen to “It needs more salt”, and “You make a good sauce, for an American”…  I seem to have the most luck when I prepare things that are not Italian.  My Italian friends rave about my international cooking and I find that they are always open and interested in trying new things.  Since I’m the straniera, foreigner, it’s probably more exciting and fun if I bring something new to the table.

Today I prepared fajitas, using the recipe Joli uses for tortillas.  You can find it here, and you’ll see that it’s quite easy.  For filling, I cut up small slices of beef, a couple of bell peppers, an onion, and since this is Southern Italy, a peperoncino, chili pepper, for spice.  I sauteed those together.  You can’t get sour cream in Italy, at least not here in the south, so I used Fage Total yogurt as it makes the best substitute for sour cream.

My friend and his daughter had fun putting the fajitas together, and I enjoyed sharing something new with them.

What are some recipes you simply can’t do without in your adopted country?

Tina Ferrari is a tango dancer, translator and writer currently based in Lecce, Italy. She writes atAffordableCallingCards.net as well as on her own blog,Tina Tangos. Comments are always welcome!

Earlier this week I noted some tips and hints for adjusting to life when you are married to a foreigner, and many of my expat friends weighed in with their own experiences. While adjusting to your new life and learning to merge your cultures is always a good thing, getting to that point might not be easy.

No, I’m not talking about falling in love and the inevitable, if only temporary, long-distance relationship, I’m talking about the practical side of marrying someone from another country.

While the rules and regulations vary widely depending on each person’s nationality, where you get married and where you decide to live, the following sites should get you started. Note: I am an American woman married to an Italian man, therefore, most of the following examples are based on my experiences with these countries.

1. Websites

Official (and well-researched unofficial) websites are a prime source of information for people wishing to marry an Italian. Here are few sites you might find helpful.

UK in Italy

US Department of State Naples: Marriage of a US Citizen

Travel.State.Gov: Marriage in Italy

ItaliaAmerica.org: Italian Dual Citizenship

ImmiGroup.com: Marrying and Sponsoring an Italian

2. Forums

While official websites are a great source of logistical information, forums are usually visited by people who’ve been there and offer a great combination of practical know-how and useful tips. Some helpful forums and topics include:

Expat Forum: Marrying an Italian

Expat Forum: Marrying an American

Immigration Boards.com: Marrying an Italian

Expats in Italy: Getting Married Forum

Expats in Italy: Atto Notorio

3. Blogs

While many bloggers visit forums and talk about their experiences marrying a foreigner there, they also write blog posts and articles on their sites. Some particularly helpful expats I’ve come across include:

Ms. Adventures in Italy (My personal go-to expat when I was marrying my own Italian in 2007.)

From Australia to Italy (My Calabria-based counterpart who is chronicling  her marriage to an Italian.)

ReallyRome (A Really great resource on, among other things, marrying an Italian.)

Moving2Italy2 (Extensive resource on moving to Italy, with a section on marrying an Italian.)

It is important to note that each case is unique and there is no one size fits all when it comes to marrying someone from another country. Additionally, laws can change from year to year and Italian consulates, at least in the US, seem to have varying procedures, as well. It is always important to contact your local embassy or consulate before proceeding and get a detailed list of what you need to do before the Big Day. As in most cases when dealing with bureaucratic situations, it is a good idea to allow yourself plenty of time and an even better opportunity for you to practice your patience.

In bocca al lupo!

Do you know any other useful sites, forums or blogs for people wanting to marry a foreigner? If so, please leave them in the comments!

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photo: Life 123

By Kristi Remick

Milestones are identifiable points in our lives that represent something epic: college graduation day, the birth of  a child, the first time one lays eyes on Johnny Depp, etc.  For me, August 19th marked a new one – I survived one full year as an Expat.  Since I prefer to sit back and let change seek me out like a heat-seeking missile, no one was more surprised than me when I told me husband “let’s do it…let’s live out our dream and move to Europe”.  Who was this person?  Why in the world would I say this phrase if I knew it would only be followed by months of hand wringing, hours spent on the internet searching for affirmations and the very real possibility I would require psychotropic drugs at some point during the planning process?

While the hand wringing resulted in premature osteoarthritis of my right index finger and the hours spent on the internet left me with more questions than answers, I knew I had to do it.   I had to sell the house that I loved, leave my career behind and say goodbye to friends and family.  The planning process was only the beginning of my emotional journey and I knew the real test would come when we actually set foot in Zurich.  As a result, I dusted off the old mental straitjacket and packed it along side all of my other jackets: the “get a grip”  jacket, the “holy crap, am I really doing this? ” jacket and of course my rain jacket…no, a real rain jacket.  It rains a lot here.

I wish I could lie to you and say I didn’t need my straitjacket the first year in Zurich.  I know a lot of you who read these Expat blogs are considering a move abroad and if you are anything like me, you are only looking for butterfly and lollipop laced stories of success.  Living in a new country is amazing but the fact of the matter is, you will be presented with unique challenges that will test your resolve. The white walls in your flat may start to dimple and resemble padded walls.  The straitjacket may get so tight it suffocates you but then something clicks…it is like Houdini himself unbuckled the first buckle for you and whispered “see, it isn’t so bad…just bend the strap back and release the tension…now go get ‘em tiger”.

It took about a year but I finally unbuckled the last buckle on my straitjacket.  As I fold it up in preparation to store it, I am overcome with immense gratitude.  Gratitude that my straitjacket kept me firmly in place and incapable of running away.

When I am not busy stuffing my face with chocolate, you can find me over at From A to Z blogging about my life in Zurich Switzerland.

A common summer view in Italy

While the rest of the world carries on with its business, in the month of August, Italy shuts down, and lights up.  By mid-August half the country is on vacation, offices and stores are closed, and those running shops and restaurants in tourist locations become very, very busy.

Calici di Stelle - Lecce turns into one big wine tasting.

Lecce has been completely on fire with Italian and European tourism.  Recently we had an event called Calici di Stelle, which is a wine tasting event that coincides with the meteor shower on the night of San Lorenzo.  The idea is that you buy a glass for ten Euros, and then wander about Lecce’s historical center, stopping at the various tasting stations, and eventually happening upon the observatory where you can watch the sky and hope to see a shooting star.  At the same time, local artist Alessandra Bray was exhibiting, and I was giving her a hand (between tastings, of course).  I have never seen Lecce so crowded – it was impossible to move!  While the idea of the historic center turning into one big wine tasting is a nice idea (and who doesn’t love Southern Italian wine?), it’s hard to really appreciate what you’re tasting when you are too busy dodging people.

I’ve managed to squeeze in some visits to the beach, and the difference between August and a couple months ago is huge.  In June, I could rent an umbrella with two lounge chairs and there would always be something available.  In August, if you don’t rent in advance you are out of luck.  So during the month of August, you can find me on the “spiaggia libera”, public beach, where none of the umbrellas match.  I don’t mind – I just feel lucky to live so close to the sea.

When I first heard about August vacations, I imagined a relaxing month – but I’m finding that it’s quite the opposite!  So much to do!  And if you really need to get something important done, best to wait until September when everyone is open again.  Even the local cinema was closed for a week!

What is August like where you live?

Tina Ferrari is a tango dancer, translator and writer currently based in Lecce, Italy. She writes at AffordableCallingCards.net as well as on her own blog, Tina Tangos. Comments are always welcome!

Searching for yourself can be tough

By Chantal Panozzo

Moving abroad can be difficult. Suddenly you’re far away from friends and family and the ways of life that you knew best. It can be isolating. It can be confusing. And if you’re a trailing spouse who has given up your job so your spouse can advance his, it can feel like you’ve lost your identity.

So how do you gain that identity back?

By focusing on what you love. By giving yourself goals to accomplish. By becoming that hidden person you always wanted to be.

For me, this meant focusing on my writing. Giving myself goals so that I would write a book while also getting to know fellow writers. Writing a blog also helped me accomplish this. So has founding a group and event.

Part of my work as a writer abroad meant co-founding a writing workshop. It’s called the  Zurich Writers Workshop and the first event will be held October 1-3, 2010. It will feature workshops in both fiction and creative non-fiction writing. The instructors will include New York Times Bestselling Author Susan Jane Gilman and University of Oxford Fiction Tutor Amal Chatterjee. You’re invited.

Other expats I know have found their place by taking art or language classes, creating greeting cards and selling them at local markets, or taking leadership roles in already established clubs like the American Women’s Club of Zurich. I know expats who have also learned to play the alphorn and made Swiss friends in the process, found part-time jobs volunteering, and others who focus on entering sporting events like triathlons and bike races. And then of course, there’s always the option of looking for a job that will allow you to continue the career you had before. Just remember to have patience. No matter what you focus on, developing a new identity takes time.

Have you found your identity in your adopted country? If so, what was key for you?

Chantal Panozzo is a writer in Switzerland who has written for a variety of publications on two continents. She’s the author of One Big Yodel, a blog about life in Switzerland and moving abroad, and also discusses living abroad as a freelancer at Writer Abroad.

I was visiting good friends last summer in Texas-we were sitting at one of our favorite Mexican cantinas, sipping on frozen lime margaritas, talking about the good ‘ole days and catching up on the last few years.

“I just love Italy,” one of my peppy ex-Sorority sisters gushed. “I could soooo see myself living there.”

I smiled as she gazed dreamily out the window, no doubt imagining herself strolling to the weekly market each Monday, sipping on stout Italian wine in the evenings, spending her days-riding on a Gondola or dining outside the Colosseum. She exhaled, “It’s just such a beautiful country.”

Not wanting to burst her idealized bubble of the life I’m leading, I politely agreed-because it is true, Italy is a beautiful country-and kept quiet. But secretly I wondered … could she really live here?

As my southern Italian counterpart pointed out last week, you can’t uproot your life back home and replant that baby here in Italy. It is a whole new country world and while we love it here, we’ve definitely learned to live without some of the luxuries of our American lifestyles.

Here are three things I’ve learned to love less here in Calabria.

1. Variety

You often hear people say, “Italians love food,” when in fact, what they mean is, “Italians love Italian food.” Especially here in Calabria, diversity, restaurant variety-heck, even a foreign food shelf-are had to come by. I’ve learned to live with this by importing my must-haves, like Velveeta cheese and Starbuck’s vanilla syrup, kicking up my personal non-Italian food recipe list and creating variety in the Italian food we eat and love.

2. Instant Access

One of the hardest things for me to get used to-if one could say I’ve gotten used to it-is learning to live without the instant access we are accustomed to in the US. There are no 24-hour pharmacies-actually, even finding an open pharmacy on Saturday or Sunday is a challenge, customer service calls regularly go un-answered-even during “working” hours and paperwork can take years to get approved.

Still, I believe I can learn something from these would-be frustrating experiences-and that, my friends, is patience. Italy has taught me patience in a way I never could have learned in the United States … and for that, I’m thankful.

3. The Latest Greatest

No doubt if I lived in the US, I’d be on the i(insert latest gadget here) bandwagon. Being in southern Italy, far from the peer pressure that comes with having an office job and well-paid friends, I’m sheltered, in a way, from needing to have the latest, greatest gadget. Many expats in Italy have other priorities and luckily, keeping up with Rossis, isn’t one of them.

Tina and I have weighed in-now it is your turn. What have you learned to live without in your expat adventures?

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photos: CarbonNYC and Ivyfield via Flickr

Last week I wrote a post at my site, My Bella Vita, that was a spin-off of a post written here at ACC by my fellow expat-in-southern-Italy and travel blogging friend, Tina of Tina Tangos. My post, A Few Things to Love About Southern Italy caused quite a stir when it was posted on Facebook because, gosh darn it-three things to love just ain’t enough.

… or so they said.

Still, it is important to note that there are more than munchies in Italy’s Mezzogiorno. With that in mind, here are three southern Italy traditions I’ve grown to love!

1. Eating on Schedule

Yes, I said there are more than munchies, but that doesn’t mean food isn’t an integral part of our lives. Here in Calabria, we live (and die?) by our mealtime schedule. We have breakfast, lunch and dinner more or less at the same time every day-a routine I mourn for when stateside meals have me dashing through a Chic-Fil-A or filling up on frappuccinos.

Why is this important? I eat less and feel more satisfied here in Italy than I do when I’m in the states.

2. Walking is Expected

My husband was shocked the first time he visited me in Texas and noticed that I drove around a parking lot three times looking for a suitable spot.

“You just passed a row of empty places,” he told me.

“Yea,” I told him, oblivious to his intention. “But they are so far.”

“Cherrye,” he told me. “We are young … it’s not raining … we can walk.”

It seems obvious now, but willingness to walk is a cultural thing-one I’m glad I picked up on and have adapted into my life … even back home.

Just last Christmas, my mom, husband and I were rushing to finish our lists. We told Mom to drop us off on the street-because we could each walk where we needed to go quicker than we could battle pre-Christmas Eve traffic. She did. And yes, people looked at us strangely, but I’d gone to two stores and my husband had shopped in one in the same amount of time it took my mom to get through traffic and find a parking spot.

Why is this important? In addition to the obvious health benefits of walking , I feel stronger and have more energy when I walk often.

3. Finish up with Fruit

Ok, so maybe it *is* all about the food, but I love that we finish off every lunch and dinner with a serving of fresh fruit. Often this fruit is from our garden-oranges and mandarins in winter months, plums and figs in the summer, but sometimes we supplement with watermelon, cantaloupe, peaches, strawberries and cherries. Delizioso!

Why is this important? I’ve found eating fruit after each meal helps me stay full longer and since I’m on a schedule, it ensures I get enough fresh fruit each day.

Wbat are some of your favorite traditions, food-related or not, in your new country?

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photo: flickr, by PhotoLab XL

I just wrapped up a five-week trip to my native Texas and as always, I returned to bella Calabria with a load of American goodies, but this time I had a couple of new additions to my pack … two real-life all-American adolescent boys!

Yep … that’s right.

I came back with not one, but two tag-alongs-my nine-year-old nephew, Cole and my friend’s 14-year-old son, Jake. The idea was born more than a year ago, when Jake’s mom asked if he could visit us for part of a summer to “work at our B&B and practice Italian.”

Now, to be perfectly fair, I believe his mother did, indeed, plan for him to help at the B&B and pick up new Italian phrases, however, even then, I knew “work at our B&B and practice Italian” was 14-year-old kid talk for “go to the beach and check out hot Italian chicks.”

And that he has done.

Happily.

Still, it took us about a week to find our groove and settle into a routine. For other expats who are considering hosting their friends’ children in their adopted countries, here are three tips to help you ease into a routine.

1. Establish Realistic Expectations

My husband and I own a B&B and I’m a full-time freelance writer and travel consultant-so we are a busy work-from-home couple. Other expats have time-consuming jobs or even work more than one job. Many American kids might not be used to this and won’t fully understand the demands of your expat job.

Talk honestly about the amount of free time you’ll have to entertain them BEFORE they come, so you will all be on the same page about day trips, excursions and free time.

2. Set Boundaries

For the most part, homes in southern Italy, and throughout Europe, are much smaller than homes we are accustomed to in the states. Tell the kids who are visiting you if any part of the property is off-limits-such as don’t go the B&B without shoes on!-and be sure they know your house rules, such as “rinse off at the beach before you come home,” or “help yourself to as much gelato as you can handle from the freezer.”

3. Get a Schedule

Depending on how much time your tiny tenants will be with you, you might be tempted to postpone certain events or trips with the thought “there’s plenty of time.”

Time, my friend, has a way of getting away.

Print a calendar of the time you’ll have with the kids and schedule important events in advance. This will also help you look at the days, weeks or months and plan when you can work or take care of important personal errands that can’t wait. It will help you feel less stress about taking time off to be with them and will give them something fun to anticipate.

Have you hosted friends’ or family’s children at your expat home? What other suggestions would you add to help get everyone prepared for an awesome summer vacation the kids will never forget?

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria travel consultant living in Catanzaro, Italy. She writes about expat life on Affordable Calling Cards and about traveling in Calabria on her site, My Bella Vita. You can also visit her at her bed and breakfast in Catanzaro, Il Cedro B&B … and by all means, ignore any and all children you see shoe-less.

My Ruby Slippers are flat and comfortable.

Who can forget the first time they saw Dorothy’s lip quiver when she uttered “There’s no place like home” and who didn’t celebrate when she clicked her heels three times, while donning ruby slippers, and made it back to Kansas?  In my past life, on the highways of Atlanta, I wished for ruby slippers on more than one occasion as I found myself “melting” in the abyss of Atlanta Traffic (yes, it gets caps so you can feel its evilness).

It is now just under two weeks until my first trip back to Atlanta and I started thinking about Dorothy.  She was so certain that Kansas was her home, even after being surrounded by incredible landscapes, yellow brick roads, talking lions and adorable munchkins.  What did Kansas have on munchkins?

At this point in my journey, Atlanta is not my Kansas.  I can’t say with certainty that I know where my home is and for me, the title fits me just as perfectly as it does Dorothy.  My interpretation is a bit more literal though because for me, there is really NO place like home.

Was I sad realizing this?  Not really, but I have to say it feels weird.  Does this phenomenon happen to all Expats?  I don’t think so as I have met quite a number of Expat folks that know where and sometimes even when they are going back to a certain somewhere.  Does this feeling happen to other people besides Expats?  Absolutely.  I remember when I first moved to Atlanta and felt like a stinky fish out of water.  I had never felt so out of  place before in my life, but that may have had more to do with me  leaving the comforts of college life and entering the real world.

So what about me now and what about Zurich?  Can I call Zurich “home” yet?  I wish I could and it isn’t for lack of  trying or wanting to…I just can’t yet.  Zurich is wonderful and the city has done nothing wrong to me (except ruin me when it comes to how clean I view other cities going forward). There are a lot of unknowns right now and until I have a few more “knowns”, I will probably not be able to call any place my home.  So until then, the red flip flops above will remain empty.

A few notes about the red flip flops because inquiring minds want to know:

1. I really liked how I ended my blog…you know, with the whole flip flop empty thing.  It really got my point across.  Originally though, I omitted my feet because they haven’t seen a pedicure in over 11 months.  I would have lost any and all readers I have accrued if my feet were in the flops.

2. I, *gasp*, do not own red pumps and/or red high heeled shoes.  In Zurich, I am probably in the female minority with this admission.

When I am not busy stuffing my face with chocolate, you can find me over at From A to Z blogging about my life in Zurich Switzerland.

Only in my dreams were bus stops named after giant chocolate factories. Now I live the dream!

If you are reading Expat blogs, you are likely thinking about becoming an Expat or have the very attractive opportunity to become one.  If you are anything like me, you have found yourself scouring the web in an effort to find answers to one of the most unanswerable questions – “Am I the Expat type?”.  This frantic period of time for an Expat is much like what expectant parents must go through when they try to answer the most unanswerable of all unanswerable questions – “Will I make a good parent?”.  Funny enough, while there are no answers to these and many other questions, we still go for it in the face of potential failure.

This “go for it attitude” is probably the biggest indicator that you are in fact the right type.  By now you have listed all the reasons not to take the plunge and many times this list is longer than the list to become an Expat, but you still go for it.  You persevere in the face of fear and the unknown, much like a baby does when they take their first breath, mouthful of pureed peas (blech), steps…first anything.

I thought about listing certain characteristics of successful Expats in an effort to allay you fears, a cyber hug if you will, but at the end of the day…there isn’t a finite list of human characteristics that will determine your success as I have met too many different types of people who have chosen this path.  I have met shy people, outgoing people, people with kids, people without kids, people who like milk chocolate and people who like dark chocolate.  The one thing they do share in common is the love for their Expat adventure.

I am in no way saying take the decision lightly,  but if you think you have to have: an adventurous spirit, flexibility in the light of challenges, love for travel, etc…well then you could be passing up on the opportunity to learn these qualities.  I wasn’t always adventurous and  I continue to amaze myself through this process because I keep getting better at things I didn’t always innately possess.

At the end of the day you have two choices:

1. Stay in the comfort of your current location or “womb”

or

2. Get the hell out of that womb and do what a little baby does when they are born…live.

When I am not busy stuffing my face with chocolate, you can find me over at From A to Z blogging about my life in Zurich Switzerland.