One thing I have learned through the years is that to live abroad, you absolutely must not limit yourself to thinking *inside* the box in terms of figuring out how to do it.  I grew up with a desire to live abroad, and while in my very young years I was probably little bit unrealistic in my fantasies (if I were to talk to the Tina Ferrari from 15 years ago, I’d say no, you may not just show up without a plan, papers, etc.), it was a positive time for me.  As I grew up and got more realistic, however, I began thinking it was less and less possible to live abroad.

I didn’t have exciting grades or tons of university credits.  I didn’t have money; in fact, I had some debt.  I didn’t have any sort of prospect for a regular work visa. I thought overseas assignments were just for executives making the big bucks.  There were times when I was downright sad that I couldn’t figure out a way to get over the pond and have my adventures.  The truth is, however, that no two expat stories are the same. In my travels, I have learned some ways to be creative in living abroad.

1. Au pair in Switzerland. Now, I say Switzerland and not Europe because as far as I know, no EU countries have an actual “au pair” visa (in fact, I hear they convince you to get a student visa to be allowed to stay as an au pair).  I, on the other hand, lived in Swizerland for 8 months, in 2002.  I found a family through an au pair agency, they took care of getting me the proper domestic worker visa, and I was on my way.  What is an au pair, you ask? It’s a young adult who lives with a family and helps with the children part-time in exchange for a small stipend, room and board.  There is the chance that upon arrival you find yourself working more as a maid and teaching the child English instead of learning the local language, but there you go.  Being an au pair.  While there were a lot of things I didn’t like about it, it was a great way to get my feet wet in Europe and immerse myself in another culture.  I fell in love with the beauty of Switzerland, was just a couple hours from Italy, and, most importantly, I was legal.

2.  As a student. Well, in Italy if you want to enroll in a University as a regular student it’s not so easy.  You have to have somewhere around a zillion college credits, and when you move over there you start from the bottom. If you enroll in several months at a language school, it is rarely possible, as the school must be recognized by the Italian education ministry.  But, there are a few which are recognized.  In my case, in 2006, this was the University for Foreigners of Perugia.  I enrolled for six months, took the program on language and translation, and off I went.  The classes were boring but I had my way into Italy.

3. Citizenship. Okay, this isn’t always available to everyone.  But in my case I qualified for Italian citizenship because of a direct line to my great-grandfather who never renounced his citizenship.  It took a long time and was frustrating at some points, but in the end it happened.  It’s worth it to look into your family history and see if you may have a blood connection to another country, and see what your options are.  (If you’re looking into Argentina, your options for residing permanently are, if I remember correctly: marry an Argentine, be born to an Argentine, or give birth to an Argentine.)

How did you find a way to move abroad legally?

Tina Ferrari is a tango dancer, translator and writer currently based in Lecce, Italy. She writes atAffordableCallingCards.net as well as on her own blog, Tina Tangos. Comments are always welcome!

It’s no secret Italy is famous for its food. The local pasta dishes, fresh, seasonal produce, robust red wines, exotic seafood, sinful desserts, homemade liquors … need I go on … are some of the best in the world and I’m lucky to live in a region that is exalted even more so for its delectable cuisine.

See what I mean?

Even though the food is simple and straightforward, deciphering menus and choosing courses can make eating out in southern Italy a challenge. Here are a few tips to help with that.

Courses (in chronological order):

1. Antipasto
Antipasto is the Italian equivalent of the appetizer and in many cases, contains both hot and cold dishes. Cold plates are typically lean cold cuts, such as prosciutto or salami, assorted cheese, particularly Pecorino and olives or bruschetta. Hot dishes are typically prepared in-house and can include anything from potato and peppers, eggplant, grilled vegetables or other chef specialties.

In traditional Calabrese trattorie, the antipasto is typically overly generous and diners can easily fill up on the first course. However, you wouldn’t want to do that, because then you’d miss the primi.

2. Primi
Primi, or first plates as we’d say in English, are usually either pasta or risotto dishes in southern Italy. Some restaurants allow diners to choose a sampling of their first plates so they can try more than one dish. I *love* this tradition!

3. Secondi
Secondi, or second plates are typically meat or fish entrees. Vegetarians might choose a secondo platter of mixed grilled vegetables, but otherwise, vegetables or other side items are rarely served on your secondo plate. If you’d like a side item, be sure to order it separately when you place your order.

4. Contorni
Speaking of side items, contorni is the side item heading you’ll see on a southern Italian menu for side items. While side items vary by restaurant and region, you’ll usually find salads, potatoes, vegetables and local specialties listed here. Notice that salads are never served before the meal like they are in the US. If you order a salad, it will be served alongside your secondo dish, in a separate plate.

5. Frutta
Most .. make that all … southern Italians I know finish their meals at home with a serving of fruit, however they rarely order it in restaurants. Still, it is on the menu and if you’d like to order fruit to finish your meal, you’d do so after your second and side dish course.

6. Dolci
Oooh, desserts! If you made it through the rest of the meal without pasta coming out of your eyeballs, you might want to order dolci. To be sure you are getting the best bang for your, uhm, euro, ask your server which desserts are homemade and order one of those.

7. Caffè o Liquori
Most restaurant meals are completed with either a caffè (shot of espresso, not a cappuccino) or a shot of digestive liquor. In Calabria, Amaro del Capo is a popular choice, as is the old southern Italian favorite-limoncello.

Tips:
1. You do not have to order something for each course. Many Italians do … but you don’t have to and you won’t be the only people in the restaurant who don’t. I never do.

2. Diners are typically charged a cover charge, called coperto, in southern Italian restaurants, so if you see an extra €1-€3 charge, per person, added to your bill, you’ll know why.

3. You do not tip in southern Italian restaurants. Let me repeat that … Do Not Tip in southern Italian restaurants. I can always tell when a restaurant I’m in is accustomed to serving American tourists … one word comes out of my mouth and they are hanging around expecting a tip. Servers are often either the restaurant owners or one of their children and unlike America, staff servers are paid the minimum wage. If you tip, you are making it harder for those of us who live here to, well, live here.

4. Doggie bags are frowned upon … so, don’t ask. Arrive hungry and plan to spend as long as you like savoring your meal.

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria group tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photo: Sara’s Kitchen, BrianandJaclyn and Premshree Pillai via Flickr

by Tina Ferrari

photo © 2010 by Sergio Stellato

Though I speak the local language and have no problem adapting to any given culture and finding my niche, at times I wonder if the locals really “get” me.  Here are my top 3 things I wish people in my adopted country, Italy, would understand about me.

This isn’t my first language.  Some of my friends here must think I’m obsessive compulsive in the way that I repeat myself so many times in Italian.  It’s just that I feel paranoid at times that I haven’t said something right (and sometimes it really is the case and they think I’ve said something totally different) so I tend to say the same thing in five different ways to make sure I said it right so they understand.  I also find that I don’t understand what people say if they talk with their mouths full of food (something I notice a lot here).  I’m always making people finish chewing first, not because I’m fussy about manners, but because I simply would like to understand what they’re saying!

It’s not as easy for me as it is for them.  Okay, nobody said life in Italy was that easy for anyone.  But there are some things that are a little harder for those of us who weren’t born here and had to learn the language from scratch.  Take just about any bureaucratic process at all, such as residency, and they’ll say, “Oh, easy! Just go here, say this, and there you have it!”  Either they’re kidding themselves or they don’t realize that those of use who don’t already have a paper trail in Italy have a little more work cut out for us.

I don’t know that many people because I am not from here.  I have a few really awesome Italian friends who have gone out of their way to get to know me and provide some great company.  But a lot of times I wonder if people really understand that I don’t really know that many people.  A lot of folks, particularly in a small town like Lecce, have the friends they grew up with and run in the same circles they’ve run in for a while now.  They have their dinner parties, etc.,  and probably assume that I already have plans with my group of friends.  Thing is, I don’t have a group of friends yet.  While I do have a number of priceless friends Italy, it will be a while before I have a “group”  that I run with, as I’m not settled yet.  This makes for nights at home alone – which isn’t so bad, considering it’s a chance to get work done and catch up with friends and family.  Plus, there is tango – the perfect excuse to dress up and get out  of the house!

What do you wish locals understood about you in your adopted country?

Tina Ferrari is a tango dancer, translator and writer currently based in Lecce, Italy. She writes atAffordableCallingCards.net as well as on her own blog,Tina Tangos. Comments are always welcome!

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By: Cherrye Moore

Earlier this week I noted some tips and hints for adjusting to life when you are married to a foreigner, and many of my expat friends weighed in with their own experiences. While adjusting to your new life and learning to merge your cultures is always a good thing, getting to that point might not be easy.

No, I’m not talking about falling in love and the inevitable, if only temporary, long-distance relationship, I’m talking about the practical side of marrying someone from another country.

While the rules and regulations vary widely depending on each person’s nationality, where you get married and where you decide to live, the following sites should get you started. Note: I am an American woman married to an Italian man, therefore, most of the following examples are based on my experiences with these countries.

1. Websites

Official (and well-researched unofficial) websites are a prime source of information for people wishing to marry an Italian. Here are few sites you might find helpful.

UK in Italy

US Department of State Naples: Marriage of a US Citizen

Travel.State.Gov: Marriage in Italy

ItaliaAmerica.org: Italian Dual Citizenship

ImmiGroup.com: Marrying and Sponsoring an Italian

2. Forums

While official websites are a great source of logistical information, forums are usually visited by people who’ve been there and offer a great combination of practical know-how and useful tips. Some helpful forums and topics include:

Expat Forum: Marrying an Italian

Expat Forum: Marrying an American

Immigration Boards.com: Marrying an Italian

Expats in Italy: Getting Married Forum

Expats in Italy: Atto Notorio

3. Blogs

While many bloggers visit forums and talk about their experiences marrying a foreigner there, they also write blog posts and articles on their sites. Some particularly helpful expats I’ve come across include:

Ms. Adventures in Italy (My personal go-to expat when I was marrying my own Italian in 2007.)

From Australia to Italy (My Calabria-based counterpart who is chronicling  her marriage to an Italian.)

ReallyRome (A Really great resource on, among other things, marrying an Italian.)

Moving2Italy2 (Extensive resource on moving to Italy, with a section on marrying an Italian.)

It is important to note that each case is unique and there is no one size fits all when it comes to marrying someone from another country. Additionally, laws can change from year to year and Italian consulates, at least in the US, seem to have varying procedures, as well. It is always important to contact your local embassy or consulate before proceeding and get a detailed list of what you need to do before the Big Day. As in most cases when dealing with bureaucratic situations, it is a good idea to allow yourself plenty of time and an even better opportunity for you to practice your patience.

In bocca al lupo!

Do you know any other useful sites, forums or blogs for people wanting to marry a foreigner? If so, please leave them in the comments!

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photo: Life 123

By: Cherrye Moore

I was visiting good friends last summer in Texas-we were sitting at one of our favorite Mexican cantinas, sipping on frozen lime margaritas, talking about the good ‘ole days and catching up on the last few years.

“I just love Italy,” one of my peppy ex-Sorority sisters gushed. “I could soooo see myself living there.”

I smiled as she gazed dreamily out the window, no doubt imagining herself strolling to the weekly market each Monday, sipping on stout Italian wine in the evenings, spending her days-riding on a Gondola or dining outside the Colosseum. She exhaled, “It’s just such a beautiful country.”

Not wanting to burst her idealized bubble of the life I’m leading, I politely agreed-because it is true, Italy is a beautiful country-and kept quiet. But secretly I wondered … could she really live here?

As my southern Italian counterpart pointed out last week, you can’t uproot your life back home and replant that baby here in Italy. It is a whole new country world and while we love it here, we’ve definitely learned to live without some of the luxuries of our American lifestyles.

Here are three things I’ve learned to love less here in Calabria.

1. Variety

You often hear people say, “Italians love food,” when in fact, what they mean is, “Italians love Italian food.” Especially here in Calabria, diversity, restaurant variety-heck, even a foreign food shelf-are had to come by. I’ve learned to live with this by importing my must-haves, like Velveeta cheese and Starbuck’s vanilla syrup, kicking up my personal non-Italian food recipe list and creating variety in the Italian food we eat and love.

2. Instant Access

One of the hardest things for me to get used to-if one could say I’ve gotten used to it-is learning to live without the instant access we are accustomed to in the US. There are no 24-hour pharmacies-actually, even finding an open pharmacy on Saturday or Sunday is a challenge, customer service calls regularly go un-answered-even during “working” hours and paperwork can take years to get approved.

Still, I believe I can learn something from these would-be frustrating experiences-and that, my friends, is patience. Italy has taught me patience in a way I never could have learned in the United States … and for that, I’m thankful.

3. The Latest Greatest

No doubt if I lived in the US, I’d be on the i(insert latest gadget here) bandwagon. Being in southern Italy, far from the peer pressure that comes with having an office job and well-paid friends, I’m sheltered, in a way, from needing to have the latest, greatest gadget. Many expats in Italy have other priorities and luckily, keeping up with Rossis, isn’t one of them.

Tina and I have weighed in-now it is your turn. What have you learned to live without in your expat adventures?

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photos: CarbonNYC and Ivyfield via Flickr

By: Cherrye Moore

Last week I wrote a post at my site, My Bella Vita, that was a spin-off of a post written here at ACC by my fellow expat-in-southern-Italy and travel blogging friend, Tina of Tina Tangos. My post, A Few Things to Love About Southern Italy caused quite a stir when it was posted on Facebook because, gosh darn it-three things to love just ain’t enough.

… or so they said.

Still, it is important to note that there are more than munchies in Italy’s Mezzogiorno. With that in mind, here are three southern Italy traditions I’ve grown to love!

1. Eating on Schedule

Yes, I said there are more than munchies, but that doesn’t mean food isn’t an integral part of our lives. Here in Calabria, we live (and die?) by our mealtime schedule. We have breakfast, lunch and dinner more or less at the same time every day-a routine I mourn for when stateside meals have me dashing through a Chic-Fil-A or filling up on frappuccinos.

Why is this important? I eat less and feel more satisfied here in Italy than I do when I’m in the states.

2. Walking is Expected

My husband was shocked the first time he visited me in Texas and noticed that I drove around a parking lot three times looking for a suitable spot.

“You just passed a row of empty places,” he told me.

“Yea,” I told him, oblivious to his intention. “But they are so far.”

“Cherrye,” he told me. “We are young … it’s not raining … we can walk.”

It seems obvious now, but willingness to walk is a cultural thing-one I’m glad I picked up on and have adapted into my life … even back home.

Just last Christmas, my mom, husband and I were rushing to finish our lists. We told Mom to drop us off on the street-because we could each walk where we needed to go quicker than we could battle pre-Christmas Eve traffic. She did. And yes, people looked at us strangely, but I’d gone to two stores and my husband had shopped in one in the same amount of time it took my mom to get through traffic and find a parking spot.

Why is this important? In addition to the obvious health benefits of walking , I feel stronger and have more energy when I walk often.

3. Finish up with Fruit

Ok, so maybe it *is* all about the food, but I love that we finish off every lunch and dinner with a serving of fresh fruit. Often this fruit is from our garden-oranges and mandarins in winter months, plums and figs in the summer, but sometimes we supplement with watermelon, cantaloupe, peaches, strawberries and cherries. Delizioso!

Why is this important? I’ve found eating fruit after each meal helps me stay full longer and since I’m on a schedule, it ensures I get enough fresh fruit each day.

Wbat are some of your favorite traditions, food-related or not, in your new country?

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photo: flickr, by PhotoLab XL

By: Cherrye Moore

I’ve written a bit, both here at ACC and at my website, My Bella Vita about my summer adventures with my nine year old nephew and my friend’s 14 year old son. While I expected them to fall in love with the “hot Italian chics”-their words, not mine, a few of their favorite things about southern Italy took me by surprise.

Here are the top three things (these) kids loved about southern Italy.

1. Calzones

Maybe it should have been obvious, but I was seriously shocked by how much my nephew loved fried calzones.

Just last night, he asked for a repeat dinner-of the previous night’s calzones-gobbled the goods before we drove the one kilometer home, and asked us to go back for seconds.

Luckily for us here in Catanzaro, there is a great little pizzeria that sells these babies, fresh from the grease, for just €1.00 each, so he can have an “all you can eat” without breaking the bank.

2. Castles

It is important to know that southern Italy’s castles are not like the fairy tale castles of England, Germany or France.

Oh no, these castles have suffered invasions, attacks, earthquakes and years of abandonment, so oftentimes you are left with a shell of the castle’s former glory.

So, I was surprised by how much the boys enjoyed them. The castle they most enjoyed (seen above) is Murat Castle, located just off of the main piazza in Pizzo, Calabria. I’m not sure if it is the castle’s imposing presence on the Tyrrhenian, the mock soldiers inside or the idea of tough men fighting tougher wars, but they loved it.

3. Beaches

Ok, so I really kinda figured the boys would love the beaches, but I was still surprised at just. how. much.

Seriously, they couldn’t get enough of the creamy tan sand, frothy waves and blue-green waters of Calabria’s coastline.

In fact, they couldn’t settle on just one beach and instead urged me to take them on day trips so they could check out the beaches in other cities around the area. Their favorite-if not for the warm Tyrrhenian waters, then for the topless sunbather-was the beach (pictured above) just beneath the Murat Castle in Pizzo.

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about her adventures in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro.

Photos: iskcon.net, Cherrye at My Bella Vita

By: Cherrye Moore

I’ve written a lot over the last few weeks about the things expats miss about home. As an expat in Italy, I always stock up on my American supplies … Velveeta, Ziploc bags, Big Red gum. But I’d know I’d miss Italy if I wasn’t here.

In fact, just last week I wrote about the things my husband and I would miss most about the bel paese if we left. But we’d also stock up.

Here are the top things we’d pack in our bags and take back with us if we lived in the US instead of Italy.

Divella Pasta

Yes, yes, yes … they sell pasta in America, but once you’ve tasted the real deal, and by that I don’t mean homemade pasta, but the dry pasta they sell in Italy, you wouldn’t settle for less, either.

Lately, we have been addicted to Divella pasta, a Pugliese brand pasta that keeps its al dente texture and tastes great with a variety of sauces.

We’d most definitely pack a bag full of assorted shapes and sizes to use in the US and to share with our American friends.

Aiello Coffee

We test-drove every Italian coffee imaginable when we opened our B&B, from Lavazza to Illy to Catanzaro’s own Guglielmo, but the winner was Cosenza-made (Calabrese) Aiello.

There is just something about that bright red bag and strong, robust flavor that keeps us coming back for more … and more … and more … .

And we’d definitely pack it up and take it with us if we ever left.

Kinder Surprise Eggs

While I could certainly live without the Kinder Sorpresa eggs that leave crying kids all over Italian supermarkets, my nine year old nephew couldn’t, so we’d have to pack a few boxes to hold him over until our next trip to Italy.

In fact, it is the one thing he requests each time we visit.

Hey, expats, what would you take back with you to the US if you no longer lived in your adopted country?

Cherrye Moore is a freelance writer and travel consultant living in Calabria, Italy. She can organize a group Calabria tour or help you plan a custom itinerary for your family from her website, My Bella Vita.

Photo: Continental Food UK, Wikipedia Commons and Sweets 2 UK

By: Cherrye Moore

Last week I wrote about the things I always carry with me from the US when I return to Italy. But truth be told, there are some pretty great things I’d miss from Italy, if we lived in the US. In fact, my husband and I talk about this pretty often, especially at times like this when I’m stocking up on American deodorant and taco sauce.

Here are the top things we’d miss about Italy if we moved to the US.

Pizza
I love American pizza, really, I do, but no matter what marketing ploy Pizza Hut might employ, Italian-style pizza they’ll never be.

Meat, Cheese, Fruit and Veggies
Yes, this is a big category, but we would really miss the meat, cheese, fresh fruit and veggies we have here in southern Italy. (In all honesty, the “meat” part was added by my husband, because he can’t imagine a life without soppressata, homemade sausage or any of the delicious cold cuts he grew up with.)

Gelato
Lest you think we are overly healthy, we’d also miss the homemade gelato we have here in Calabria. Ice cream is one thing, gelato is another and while I do love me some Blue Bell, I’d really miss Marrons Glaces here in Catanzaro.

Passeggiata
There is no Italian habit I love more than the evening passeggiata and even though I know we could do this if we lived outside Italy, I’m not sure we would. And really, part of the fun of the passeggiata is bumping into your neighbors and friends and if they’re not outside for their evening stroll, would it really be the same?

Come back next week to see the top things we’d pack and carry with us, customs-permitting, if we lived outside of Italy.

Are you an expat in Italy? What would you miss if you had to leave?

Cherrye Moore is a freelance writer and travel consultant living in Calabria, Italy. She can organize a group Calabria tour or help you plan a custom itinerary for your family from her website, My Bella Vita.

Photo: Cherrye Moore, My Bella Vita

By: Cherrye Moore

We are in the second week of June and this expat is happily at home with her Texas-based friends and family. There is nothing like going home, seeing familiar faces, frequenting familiar haunts and yes, I’ll admit it, sometimes equally as important … eating familiar food.

I have to say, though, I come home twice a year-each summer and again at Christmas-and each time I stock up on my American goodies.

When I first moved to Italy four years ago, I’d buy my Gold Toe socks, fill up during the Bath and Body Works semi-annual sales and even buy my makeup and remover.

But luckily, things have changed.

I am no longer am addicted to Gold Toe socks and Sephora’s recent addition to our shopping center has helped with the makeup, lotions and shower gel dilemnas.

Still, there are a few things I still import.

Medicine
I recently realized you can indeed buy Ibuprofen in Italy, but yowsers is that stuff expensive. Instead of forking over €12 for 12 pills, I run by Walmart and stock up. In addition to Advil, I always carry Tylenol, Tylenol PM, DayQuil and NyQuil and vitamins, for both my husband and myself. We also bring American-strength deodorant.

Books
Even though I have had good experiences with Amazon UK and am addicted to reading through the Kindle App on my iPod Touch, I still like to buy a few books from the US. Usually I buy work-related books to help with my freelance writing career, but I’ve also been known to stalk the sales counter at our local B&N. Old habits die hard.

Food, Food, Food
You can take the girl away from the Mexican border, but you can’t keep the Mexican cravings away. I always buy Velveeta cheese, taco Seasoning, Jambalaya mix, canned soup for cooking, Big Red gum and a few boxes of Ziploc bags … you know, to store all of my leftovers.

Are you an expat? If so, what do you buy from home?

Cherrye Moore is a freelance writer and travel consultant living in Calabria, Italy. She can organize a group Calabria tour or help you plan a custom itinerary for your family from her website, My Bella Vita.

Photo: Cherrye Moore, My Bella Vita