Expat Osmosis

By Kristi Remick

“Osmosis” is the process by which water molecules move across a semi-permeable membrane from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration in order to achieve equilibrium.  ”Reverse Osmosis” is the same process, but well… in reverse – water molecules leave an area of high concentration and go to an area of low concentration to achieve equilibrium.  I think these two processes pretty much sum up my social life as an Expat.

When I first got here I had few connections and it seemed as if people sort of just flowed right into my life.  Living in an international city where 30% of the inhabitants are Expats means you have a pretty big pool of potential friends who are just as motivated as you to make connections.   While it is fairly easy make connections, there is always this niggling feeling and knowledge in the back of the Expat brain that knows people can flow out of your life just as easily as they have flown in.

My “Expat Molecule” had gotten pretty full over the past 9 months so  it was no surprise to learn of our first set of friends planning to leave and go back home.  I wish I could say I was out of equilibrium and I needed these people to leave my life, but we all know that isn’t how the human heart works.  While it is easy to draw a comparison between osmosis and making friends as an Expat, it doesn’t quite take into account that feelings are involved.

Meeting people as an Expat is exhilarating and saying goodbye to them is deflating.  It is one of the sad, hard truths that one must accept and deal with if they choose this lifestyle.  How have I done?  Logically, I know I just have to deal with it and for the most part I do.  I have my days though where I crave consistency.  When you think about how quickly people can come in and out of your life, you then start thinking about things like – “If the people I am meeting are mostly temporary, how do I know they are really investing in me?  Am I truly investing and giving myself to other people?  Are these friendships real?”.  They are crazy questions but legitimate at the same time.

All the crazy questions aside, I have decided the friendships I have made here are real and my only hope is one day I will be good at saying goodbye to the people I made them with.

When I am not busy stuffing my face with chocolate, you can find me over at From A to Z blogging about my life in Zurich Switzerland.