Posts Tagged ‘Getting Adjusted’

By Kristi Remick

Milestones are identifiable points in our lives that represent something epic: college graduation day, the birth of  a child, the first time one lays eyes on Johnny Depp, etc.  For me, August 19th marked a new one – I survived one full year as an Expat.  Since I prefer to sit back and let change seek me out like a heat-seeking missile, no one was more surprised than me when I told me husband “let’s do it…let’s live out our dream and move to Europe”.  Who was this person?  Why in the world would I say this phrase if I knew it would only be followed by months of hand wringing, hours spent on the internet searching for affirmations and the very real possibility I would require psychotropic drugs at some point during the planning process?

While the hand wringing resulted in premature osteoarthritis of my right index finger and the hours spent on the internet left me with more questions than answers, I knew I had to do it.   I had to sell the house that I loved, leave my career behind and say goodbye to friends and family.  The planning process was only the beginning of my emotional journey and I knew the real test would come when we actually set foot in Zurich.  As a result, I dusted off the old mental straitjacket and packed it along side all of my other jackets: the “get a grip”  jacket, the “holy crap, am I really doing this? ” jacket and of course my rain jacket…no, a real rain jacket.  It rains a lot here.

I wish I could lie to you and say I didn’t need my straitjacket the first year in Zurich.  I know a lot of you who read these Expat blogs are considering a move abroad and if you are anything like me, you are only looking for butterfly and lollipop laced stories of success.  Living in a new country is amazing but the fact of the matter is, you will be presented with unique challenges that will test your resolve. The white walls in your flat may start to dimple and resemble padded walls.  The straitjacket may get so tight it suffocates you but then something clicks…it is like Houdini himself unbuckled the first buckle for you and whispered “see, it isn’t so bad…just bend the strap back and release the tension…now go get ‘em tiger”.

It took about a year but I finally unbuckled the last buckle on my straitjacket.  As I fold it up in preparation to store it, I am overcome with immense gratitude.  Gratitude that my straitjacket kept me firmly in place and incapable of running away.

When I am not busy stuffing my face with chocolate, you can find me over at From A to Z blogging about my life in Zurich Switzerland.

By: Cherrye Moore

I was visiting good friends last summer in Texas-we were sitting at one of our favorite Mexican cantinas, sipping on frozen lime margaritas, talking about the good ‘ole days and catching up on the last few years.

“I just love Italy,” one of my peppy ex-Sorority sisters gushed. “I could soooo see myself living there.”

I smiled as she gazed dreamily out the window, no doubt imagining herself strolling to the weekly market each Monday, sipping on stout Italian wine in the evenings, spending her days-riding on a Gondola or dining outside the Colosseum. She exhaled, “It’s just such a beautiful country.”

Not wanting to burst her idealized bubble of the life I’m leading, I politely agreed-because it is true, Italy is a beautiful country-and kept quiet. But secretly I wondered … could she really live here?

As my southern Italian counterpart pointed out last week, you can’t uproot your life back home and replant that baby here in Italy. It is a whole new country world and while we love it here, we’ve definitely learned to live without some of the luxuries of our American lifestyles.

Here are three things I’ve learned to love less here in Calabria.

1. Variety

You often hear people say, “Italians love food,” when in fact, what they mean is, “Italians love Italian food.” Especially here in Calabria, diversity, restaurant variety-heck, even a foreign food shelf-are had to come by. I’ve learned to live with this by importing my must-haves, like Velveeta cheese and Starbuck’s vanilla syrup, kicking up my personal non-Italian food recipe list and creating variety in the Italian food we eat and love.

2. Instant Access

One of the hardest things for me to get used to-if one could say I’ve gotten used to it-is learning to live without the instant access we are accustomed to in the US. There are no 24-hour pharmacies-actually, even finding an open pharmacy on Saturday or Sunday is a challenge, customer service calls regularly go un-answered-even during “working” hours and paperwork can take years to get approved.

Still, I believe I can learn something from these would-be frustrating experiences-and that, my friends, is patience. Italy has taught me patience in a way I never could have learned in the United States … and for that, I’m thankful.

3. The Latest Greatest

No doubt if I lived in the US, I’d be on the i(insert latest gadget here) bandwagon. Being in southern Italy, far from the peer pressure that comes with having an office job and well-paid friends, I’m sheltered, in a way, from needing to have the latest, greatest gadget. Many expats in Italy have other priorities and luckily, keeping up with Rossis, isn’t one of them.

Tina and I have weighed in-now it is your turn. What have you learned to live without in your expat adventures?

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photos: CarbonNYC and Ivyfield via Flickr

By: Cherrye Moore

Last week I wrote a post at my site, My Bella Vita, that was a spin-off of a post written here at ACC by my fellow expat-in-southern-Italy and travel blogging friend, Tina of Tina Tangos. My post, A Few Things to Love About Southern Italy caused quite a stir when it was posted on Facebook because, gosh darn it-three things to love just ain’t enough.

… or so they said.

Still, it is important to note that there are more than munchies in Italy’s Mezzogiorno. With that in mind, here are three southern Italy traditions I’ve grown to love!

1. Eating on Schedule

Yes, I said there are more than munchies, but that doesn’t mean food isn’t an integral part of our lives. Here in Calabria, we live (and die?) by our mealtime schedule. We have breakfast, lunch and dinner more or less at the same time every day-a routine I mourn for when stateside meals have me dashing through a Chic-Fil-A or filling up on frappuccinos.

Why is this important? I eat less and feel more satisfied here in Italy than I do when I’m in the states.

2. Walking is Expected

My husband was shocked the first time he visited me in Texas and noticed that I drove around a parking lot three times looking for a suitable spot.

“You just passed a row of empty places,” he told me.

“Yea,” I told him, oblivious to his intention. “But they are so far.”

“Cherrye,” he told me. “We are young … it’s not raining … we can walk.”

It seems obvious now, but willingness to walk is a cultural thing-one I’m glad I picked up on and have adapted into my life … even back home.

Just last Christmas, my mom, husband and I were rushing to finish our lists. We told Mom to drop us off on the street-because we could each walk where we needed to go quicker than we could battle pre-Christmas Eve traffic. She did. And yes, people looked at us strangely, but I’d gone to two stores and my husband had shopped in one in the same amount of time it took my mom to get through traffic and find a parking spot.

Why is this important? In addition to the obvious health benefits of walking , I feel stronger and have more energy when I walk often.

3. Finish up with Fruit

Ok, so maybe it *is* all about the food, but I love that we finish off every lunch and dinner with a serving of fresh fruit. Often this fruit is from our garden-oranges and mandarins in winter months, plums and figs in the summer, but sometimes we supplement with watermelon, cantaloupe, peaches, strawberries and cherries. Delizioso!

Why is this important? I’ve found eating fruit after each meal helps me stay full longer and since I’m on a schedule, it ensures I get enough fresh fruit each day.

Wbat are some of your favorite traditions, food-related or not, in your new country?

Cherrye Moore is an American freelance writer and Calabria tour consultant living in southern Italy. You can read more about living and traveling in Calabria at her site, My Bella Vita or visit her in person at her B&B in Catanzaro, Italy.

Photo: flickr, by PhotoLab XL

By Kristi Remick

My Ruby Slippers are flat and comfortable.

Who can forget the first time they saw Dorothy’s lip quiver when she uttered “There’s no place like home” and who didn’t celebrate when she clicked her heels three times, while donning ruby slippers, and made it back to Kansas?  In my past life, on the highways of Atlanta, I wished for ruby slippers on more than one occasion as I found myself “melting” in the abyss of Atlanta Traffic (yes, it gets caps so you can feel its evilness).

It is now just under two weeks until my first trip back to Atlanta and I started thinking about Dorothy.  She was so certain that Kansas was her home, even after being surrounded by incredible landscapes, yellow brick roads, talking lions and adorable munchkins.  What did Kansas have on munchkins?

At this point in my journey, Atlanta is not my Kansas.  I can’t say with certainty that I know where my home is and for me, the title fits me just as perfectly as it does Dorothy.  My interpretation is a bit more literal though because for me, there is really NO place like home.

Was I sad realizing this?  Not really, but I have to say it feels weird.  Does this phenomenon happen to all Expats?  I don’t think so as I have met quite a number of Expat folks that know where and sometimes even when they are going back to a certain somewhere.  Does this feeling happen to other people besides Expats?  Absolutely.  I remember when I first moved to Atlanta and felt like a stinky fish out of water.  I had never felt so out of  place before in my life, but that may have had more to do with me  leaving the comforts of college life and entering the real world.

So what about me now and what about Zurich?  Can I call Zurich “home” yet?  I wish I could and it isn’t for lack of  trying or wanting to…I just can’t yet.  Zurich is wonderful and the city has done nothing wrong to me (except ruin me when it comes to how clean I view other cities going forward). There are a lot of unknowns right now and until I have a few more “knowns”, I will probably not be able to call any place my home.  So until then, the red flip flops above will remain empty.

A few notes about the red flip flops because inquiring minds want to know:

1. I really liked how I ended my blog…you know, with the whole flip flop empty thing.  It really got my point across.  Originally though, I omitted my feet because they haven’t seen a pedicure in over 11 months.  I would have lost any and all readers I have accrued if my feet were in the flops.

2. I, *gasp*, do not own red pumps and/or red high heeled shoes.  In Zurich, I am probably in the female minority with this admission.

When I am not busy stuffing my face with chocolate, you can find me over at From A to Z blogging about my life in Zurich Switzerland.

by Tina Ferrari

Almost lunchtime in southern Italy

I have had several American visitors over the past couple of months and have had a chance to hear firsthand what impressions people have when they visit – particularly when it comes to food.  I was lucky enough to grow up with a more Mediterranean eating style, but having others visit who are not used to it has opened my eyes to three things that are very important here in the culture, but perhaps strange for other people:

The importance of eating. If one thing is true about Italians, eating is very important for them.  Any time I go anywhere with a group to any sort of occasion, it either surrounds food, or by lunchtime (1 pm) or dinnertime (about 9 or 10 pm here in Puglia) we look at our watches, drop what we’re doing and dedicate ourselves to the meal – and if we’re at home this includes using a table cloth and setting the table properly.  This shocks (and pleases) my American visitors every time – in the American culture, sometimes you either grab something quick to eat at the computer while you’re working, or you are so busy you forget your mealtimes.  I can’t imagine most people I know here forgetting a mealtime, ever.  And considering how good the food is, I can’t blame them!

The importance of courses. The main observation my friends make when they visit is, “Gosh, they really eat a lot here!  It’s too much food!”  I had to think about this, because it sounded rather strange.  Here in southern Italy I find the portions are perfectly reasonable compared to those in the U.S.  But I think people who visit may feel so full after a meal because they are not used to taking their time and eating one course at a time.  It’s really not *that* much food, it’s just separated into courses and one thing is eaten at a time. That does tend to fill you up faster.  I also tend to believe that the ingredients are so whole and unadulterated down here that food seems a lot more filling, so even though you’re eating less, you’re filling yourself up with all kinds of great nutrients, instead of eating a lot of empty calories.  Just a thought.  Have no fear though – if lunch is big, dinner is small, and vice versa.

The importance of generosity. Of course, if you are a guest in a Mediterranean home, the whole “moderation” thing goes out the window. The people here love to host and love to be generous with what they have.  It’s a favorite thing of mine about living here – people have no problem being generous, be it food or a ride or the washing machine (yes, I borrow friends’ washing machines at the moment).  My secret, in case you plan to visit and are a guest in someone’s home, is eat slowly and understand that nobody is trying to wreck your diet, they just want to embrace you and make you feel welcome.  And no, we don’t eat like that every day, only when we have special guests.  It’s all about you.  It’s overwhelming if you’re not accustomed to such meals that can last quite a while, but that’s what grappa and espresso are for at the end of the meal.   Buon appetito!

Tina Ferrari is a tango dancer, translator and writer currently based in Lecce, Italy. She writes at AffordableCallingCards.net as well as on her own blog, Tina Tangos. Comments are always welcome!

By: Cherrye Moore

Last week I wrote about the things I always carry with me from the US when I return to Italy. But truth be told, there are some pretty great things I’d miss from Italy, if we lived in the US. In fact, my husband and I talk about this pretty often, especially at times like this when I’m stocking up on American deodorant and taco sauce.

Here are the top things we’d miss about Italy if we moved to the US.

Pizza
I love American pizza, really, I do, but no matter what marketing ploy Pizza Hut might employ, Italian-style pizza they’ll never be.

Meat, Cheese, Fruit and Veggies
Yes, this is a big category, but we would really miss the meat, cheese, fresh fruit and veggies we have here in southern Italy. (In all honesty, the “meat” part was added by my husband, because he can’t imagine a life without soppressata, homemade sausage or any of the delicious cold cuts he grew up with.)

Gelato
Lest you think we are overly healthy, we’d also miss the homemade gelato we have here in Calabria. Ice cream is one thing, gelato is another and while I do love me some Blue Bell, I’d really miss Marrons Glaces here in Catanzaro.

Passeggiata
There is no Italian habit I love more than the evening passeggiata and even though I know we could do this if we lived outside Italy, I’m not sure we would. And really, part of the fun of the passeggiata is bumping into your neighbors and friends and if they’re not outside for their evening stroll, would it really be the same?

Come back next week to see the top things we’d pack and carry with us, customs-permitting, if we lived outside of Italy.

Are you an expat in Italy? What would you miss if you had to leave?

Cherrye Moore is a freelance writer and travel consultant living in Calabria, Italy. She can organize a group Calabria tour or help you plan a custom itinerary for your family from her website, My Bella Vita.

Photo: Cherrye Moore, My Bella Vita

By: Cherrye Moore

We are in the second week of June and this expat is happily at home with her Texas-based friends and family. There is nothing like going home, seeing familiar faces, frequenting familiar haunts and yes, I’ll admit it, sometimes equally as important … eating familiar food.

I have to say, though, I come home twice a year-each summer and again at Christmas-and each time I stock up on my American goodies.

When I first moved to Italy four years ago, I’d buy my Gold Toe socks, fill up during the Bath and Body Works semi-annual sales and even buy my makeup and remover.

But luckily, things have changed.

I am no longer am addicted to Gold Toe socks and Sephora’s recent addition to our shopping center has helped with the makeup, lotions and shower gel dilemnas.

Still, there are a few things I still import.

Medicine
I recently realized you can indeed buy Ibuprofen in Italy, but yowsers is that stuff expensive. Instead of forking over €12 for 12 pills, I run by Walmart and stock up. In addition to Advil, I always carry Tylenol, Tylenol PM, DayQuil and NyQuil and vitamins, for both my husband and myself. We also bring American-strength deodorant.

Books
Even though I have had good experiences with Amazon UK and am addicted to reading through the Kindle App on my iPod Touch, I still like to buy a few books from the US. Usually I buy work-related books to help with my freelance writing career, but I’ve also been known to stalk the sales counter at our local B&N. Old habits die hard.

Food, Food, Food
You can take the girl away from the Mexican border, but you can’t keep the Mexican cravings away. I always buy Velveeta cheese, taco Seasoning, Jambalaya mix, canned soup for cooking, Big Red gum and a few boxes of Ziploc bags … you know, to store all of my leftovers.

Are you an expat? If so, what do you buy from home?

Cherrye Moore is a freelance writer and travel consultant living in Calabria, Italy. She can organize a group Calabria tour or help you plan a custom itinerary for your family from her website, My Bella Vita.

Photo: Cherrye Moore, My Bella Vita

by Tina Ferrari

As we all know, speaking the local language is essential when you move to another country.  I’m fortunate to be able to pick up languages easily.  In Argentina, it took a few months for me to get comfortable with Spanish, but I kept at it and was able to integrate pretty well into my surroundings.  I don’t know how I would survive Italy without knowing Italian.

I feel very lucky and proud when I navigate my way through mundane situations such as calling the phone company (if anyone answers) and going to the doctor.  Things I wouldn’t otherwise be able to do without the language. What’s really exciting is when I’m able to understand jokes and even make them myself – in the local dialect!  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s quite an accomplishment.

Knowing the language has helped me make friends, obviously… but there are sometimes moments where either wires get crossed or I get tongue-tied because no matter how many ways I try to explain something, I can’t say what I want to say, or the person I’m talking to thinks I’m saying something else!  This is what happens when you form relationships that move beyond the usual superficial “where are you from” and “nice weather we’re having today” topics that you can usually run through without a thought.  The problem arises when you really want to get to know each other.

Luckily, people are patient with me and most of the time we work together to figure out what I’m trying to communicate.  We figure it out and I learn something new about how to express myself in Italian. I also tend to communicate with my emotions, gestures and facial expressions, which helps.  And believe me, I’ve been known to make it a game of charades in which I act everything out.  But I long for the day when I can be understood all the time without these extra efforts.  When I can rest assured that I’m expressing my true self to the fullest with my words.

How do you express yourself in your adopted country?

Tina Ferrari is a tango dancer, translator and writer currently based in Lecce, Italy. She writes at AffordableCallingCards.net as well as on her own blog, Tina Tangos. Comments are always welcome!

By: Cherrye Moore

On Tuesday, we talked about four of the eight types of expats you’ll meet in Italy.

But we weren’t quite finished.

Here is the other half of that story. In addition to the Short-Term Expat, Old-Timers, Lover and Run-Away, here are four more kinds of expats you will meet in Italy.

Corporate Guy
Expats who move to Italy while working for an international organization are some of the luckiest expats around. The Corporate Guy is likely making a real salary, as opposed to the pennies they pay Italian workers and likely had his company take care of the small details … such as his residency, his permesso and any other of the gazillion Italian documents required of immigrants.

Depending on where the Corporate Guy lives in Italy, he may or may not have a real sense of life in the country and he likely won’t stay here forever.

Military Man (and Fam)
Even more protected than the Corporate Guy is the Military Man. Sadly, many of these expats rarely venture far from base and they miss out on a lot of Italian culture. However, he and his family might not have even wanted to move to Italy, so they don’t feel deprived and anxiously await their orders to return home.

Retirees
Retirees may have spent their whole lives anticipating the day they could move to Italy and gosh darn it, they’re gonna like it. They’ve likely traveled to Italy dozens of times over the years, may have learned a little of the language and are genuinely excited to be here.

The will likely go through the initial culture curve and realize they didn’t know as much about Italy as they thought they did, but they’ll gain a better appreciation of the old country, in the process.

The Italophile
The Italophile is just a younger Retiree who made the proper life choices that allowed her to move to Italy before retirement. These expats are pazza about Italy and bask in all of the country’s goodness. Yes, they see her flaws, but they love living in Italy and are quick to remind the rest of us how lucky we are.

We are lucky to have them around for their positivity and contagious energy, but surprisingly enough, they may or may not live in Italy their entire lives.

And there you have it. The eight kinds of expats you will meet in Italy. Where do you fit in? Do you think I forgot anyone?

Cherrye Moore is a freelance writer and travel consultant living in Calabria, Italy. She can organize a group Calabria tour or help you plan a custom itinerary for your family from her website, My Bella Vita.

Photo: Wilson Websites Consulting

By: Cherrye Moore

Here at ACC we spend a lot of time talking about expat life and in truth, many of us have a lot in common. We are all living in a foreign country. We all miss things about home. We all love, or at least like most of the time, things about our new countries.

But I’m convinced the reasons that motivated our expat status have more to do with our experiences than many people consider, at least for those of us who are expats in Italy.

So, in this two-part series, let’s examine the eight-in my book-types of expats you will meet in the bel paese.

The Short-Term Expat
This expat moved to Italy for a study or work abroad opportunity, not necessarily because he was in love with Italy or the Italian language, but because it seemed like a fun addition to his ever-growing resume.

This expat is blissfully happy with Italy and is friends with other expats he met at work or school. He doesn’t cement ties to the country since he knows he’ll be leaving in T minus 10 months.

It is typically easier for the Short-Term Expat to accept Italy’s nuances and adapt to that post-college lifestyle he might be living as an expat.

The Old-Timer
On the other end of the spectrum is the lifer … the expat who moved to Italy years and years and years ago, likely because she married an Italian and they chose to live here rather than the US.

This person may have lost some of their (insert country of origin here)’ness and speaks to other expats from her country in Italian rather than their native language.

While she may have had a hard time adjusting to life as an expat in Italy, she doesn’t really remember … it was too long ago.

The Lover
The Old-Timer likely entered Italy as a “Lover,” but from those aforementioned years and years and years of living in Italy, became an Old-Timer.

The Lover, like yours truly, came to Italy because she was in love with an Italian and they decided to start their lives together in the bel paese. The Lover may or may not envision spending her whole life in Italy and may secretly be plotting her return to native soil.

It might be easier for The Lover to adjust to Italy because she has an Italian citizen showing her the ropes, yet she might feel more torn between the two worlds, since she may not have wanted to leave in the first place.

The Run-Away
The Run-Away, on the other hand, wanted to leave. He left his home country because he wasn’t feeling satisfied or fulfilled in either his career or personal life. This expat is here for the long-haul and tends to focus on the positive aspects of his new country.

It might be easier for this expat to pack up and leave than it is for the Old-Timer or the Lover, but the longer he is here, the more Italy feels like home.

Come back on Thursday to meet the other four kinds of expats you’ll see in Italy.

Cherrye Moore is a freelance writer and travel consultant living in Calabria, Italy. She can organize a group Calabria tour or help you plan a custom itinerary for your family from her website, My Bella Vita.

Photo: The Trendliest